Stay
by bones.house.love
Summary: A songfic based on the song Stay by Gavin Mikhail. Told from Brennan's point of view. Booth is undercover and Brennan reflects on their relationship and how they got to this point.


_**I couldn't not write this when I heard the song Stay by Gavin Mikhail. I know, I know, I should be working on A Stone's Throw Away. -smacks wrist with a ruler- I promise I'll get right back to writing after this. It helps to listen to the song before, or while reading. Even after, if you so choose. Please read and review! -Amy**_

**Stay**

_We've come this far_

_And it's so clear_

_That we are everything you hoped for,_

_loved, and feared_

_And I don't know_

_The reasons why_

_All this time it goes by slowly_

_And we don't see_

_Much to fight for... _

I love him. It doesn't scare me anymore. I can say it without stuttering now. And I know he loves me too. We've come so far. I remember the first time I met him. I thought he was arrogant, bossy, and full of himself. Besides that, I just didn't want to be loaned out to the FBI like a possession. To put it mildly, I was pissed.

With his alpha-male persona, he made me feel like he regarded my as property. Then, all of a sudden, I realized that he was doing it because he loved me, and wanted me to be safe. That's when I knew that I loved him. It all became so clear. Now here we are, a decade later. We've been married for four years. It took us almost three and a half years of partnership to figure out that we were attracted to each other. We dated for two and a half years before we got married. And no, I don't think it's an archaic and antiquated ritual. Not anymore.

_What if I get lost here?_

_Without you nearby could I still breathe?_

_Please tell me..._

_If I would stay here and wait for you_

_Would you stay here and wait for me?_

_Could you stand and believe in the_

_face of all you never wanted_

_This life I lead... _

Now, he's undercover, has been for two months. The assignment is supposed to be five months long. I feel like I'm going to die. I can't breath without him here. Nevertheless, I have to be strong for our daughter. She misses her daddy so much. I tell her he's on a business trip, and he'll be back soon. Why doesn't he call, Mommy? She asks me. What am supposed to say? I tell her he's very busy. How am I supposed to explain to a three-year-old that Daddy is putting his life on the line to put a bad guy in jail?

I never wanted this life. I was always determined to be independent, to never rely on anyone. I felt that if I needed someone, that I'd lose who I was. And who's to say they'd stay? Everyone I ever loved had walked out on me. Now, here I am, a wife, a mother. And I'm needing him. And I know he'll stay.

_I owe so much_

_To who you are_

_And, though I've fallen time and time again_

_You've picked me up and brought me far_

_I'm safe_

_And still you fight_

_And every time you give, I live to find my way_

_I try to make things right..._

_If I get lost here?_

_Without you nearby could I still breathe?_

_Please tell me... _

I own him everything. My life. My happiness. He's made me, well, me. I am complete. I have love. I love and I am loved. I have a family. Every time I needed rescuing, he would come save me. Whether it was my body, or my soul, that needed saving. Even when I am safe, and content, he's still always fighting to be better, to make me better. With him, I am better.

Without him, I'm still okay. I'm still a whole person, able of caring for myself and my little girl. But, still, I can't help missing him, needing him beside me. Although I'm whole, I know that a part of me, a part of my heart, is not present. I need him to come back to me.

_If I would stay here and wait for you_

_Would you stay here and wait for me?_

_Could you stand and believe in the_

_face of all you never wanted_

_This life I lead..._

_I'm sorry for the times that I could not prepare you_

_For every little thing that I could not decide_

_No not for us_

_I am not the one who fights_

_To keep our love awake and still alive_

_But someday soon we'll be alright... _

I've never been easy. I know that. Half the time, I can't figure out why he's stayed with me. I was a wreck. Hell, I'm still a wreck. I'm broken. I'm problematic. I have a knack for getting myself into compromising situations with homicidal maniacs, crazed killers and gang leaders. He's the only one who's never left me. Any other man would have said "sayonara", and headed for the hills. Not my man. He loves me. Really and truly and completely.

I'm sorry, Seeley. I'm so sorry. I put you through so much. You've had to deal with my problems for so long. All you ever wanted to do was take my troubles onto yourself. I wouldn't let you. I fought with you. I didn't see. I didn't know. I thought you were trying to be dominating. I didn't realize that two alpha personalities could coexist so well. It's all about compromise. You taught me that. We've had our rough spots, and we'll always have them, but we'll be alright.

All because of love.

_What if I get lost here?_

_Without you nearby could I still breathe?_

_Please tell me..._

_If I would stay here and wait for you_

_Would you stay here and wait for me?_

_Could you stand and believe in the_

_face of all you never wanted_

_This life I lead_

_Never wanted this life I lead_

_Never wanted this life I lead..._


End file.
